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As a society, we have allowed ourselves to get to dependent on technology to fill our time. We see it everywhere. While eating at a restaurant, you just need to look around to see most of the people looking down at their phones rather than talking to the people right in front of them. You go to the theaters and you can see people checking in on social media or taking pictures. How can we get back to a place where we are able to enjoy each other’s company and go back to a place where technology doesn’t rule your free time?

What we did as a group was, we turned off our power for 24 hours. We turned off our phones and got rid of all external distractions that normally fill our time. From there, we were able to focus on clearing our heads. Meditation is so much easier if you can clear away the external distractions. It is just you in the silence with your thoughts. Let you mind wander and fill with happy, motivational, or challenging thoughts.

If you enjoy reading, try reading by candle light. It gives you a stronger connection with what you are reading. Personally, I find myself getting drawn into the story much easier and my mind clears of negative thoughts. I get drawn into the story as if I am a participant/observer. It is refreshing, exhausting, emotional, and that much more exciting.

Technology has become our crutch. Granted, some technology is designed to make us more productive or make our general existence more comfortable. However, when we rely to heavily on technology, we will never truly be able to live without it. When we use multiple monitors for work, are we truly being more efficient? Take a look at your performance. Are you really saving time, or are you just filling space? We found that sometimes we have too much stimuli that takes away from our productivity and it takes a power outage or an activity like this to help us see that we have just been filling time. Try this exercise. Take a 24 hour period where you turn off all distractions. Do it as a family, or by yourself if needed. Talk with each other. You will deepen your relationships and come to a better understanding of each other. If you are alone, try journaling about your 3 powerful questions that we suggested during Episode 146. You will find deeper meaning in your own thoughts and possibly find a positive way forward.

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It’s hard to dig deep and analyze your life in a way that is both constructive and honest. We often make excuses and lay blame on external factors. How do we separate the external from the internal? The easiest way is to ask yourself 3 questions. Do you just ride the train of life and let others determine where you are going, or are you a driver that decides where you are going?

1. Where am I?: Take a moment to look at your life and analyze your current circumstances. You are a collection of your past decisions and have no one to blame for who you are other than yourself. You ultimately decide who you are going to be. Victim. Victor. It is entirely up to you. This is something that hits personally with me, especially today when people are quick to play the victim and make excuses as to why they are where they are. This question forces you to look deeper, throw out the Bull Shit, and look at who you decided to be at that moment.
2. Where do I want to be? I took this time to look at the path I laid out before myself and analyzed where I would like to be in my emotions, relationships, my career, and my health. This question is so much more than that though. You have a blank canvas in front of you. Paint the perfect picture of your life. Where do you want to be? What kind of person do you envision yourself in the future? What are you doing? Where are you living? Get deep and really look at where you want to be. Get creative but make sure it is you. This will help you set a goal for question 3.
3. How am I getting there? This question helped me analyze how I am going to get to my goals. It makes it possible to create a plan and take steps that move you closer. For example, one of my goals is to become a successful streamer. Writing that as a goal, I can look at the steps t will take to get there. Improving audio and video quality, setting up the best equipment, and marketing my stream are now part of my plan to get to where I want to be. Also, I am working on losing weight. I set a realistic goal of living healthier first and the weight will follow.

These 3 questions are not meant to depress you or make you feel bad about where you are. Rather they are designed to make you be honest with yourself, understand where you are, want to be, and give you a method of planning your course of action moving forward. This exercise is meant to help get you out of any rut you are in, get you off that train where you are not in control, and give you personal responsibility and define your direction better.

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When emotions are high, it is difficult to find a good time to walk away from a situation. It becomes difficult to distinguish between our emotional state and what is the best response to a situation. Maybe you’re in a situation that gets your anger up, or a situation where your desire makes it harder to respond I a healthy manner. Knowing when to walk away is one of the best skills that we can practice.

If you are in a heated argument, things can quickly get out of control if you allow your emotions to push you into a response. We all have situations where we get a little heated and angry. Sometimes we let our emotions take control and we start to lose control of our responses. This is dangerous and can hurt ourselves, and others around us. Our response should in these situations should never be made with emotion.

Conversely, there are times When we let our excitement drive our decisions we make. We have those moments where we want something so bad and our excitement for the thing is so high, that we forgo our rational thought and make an emotional decision that may hurt us down the road. Using buying a car as an example. If you go into a dealership and find the car of your dreams, but you want to try to get the price down, your emotions need to be in check. When a salesperson sees that you are emotionally vested in a specific car, they will take advantage of your emotions and you may end up with a deal you don’t like.

What I like to do when I feel emotions building is to take a step back and analyze my feelings. If it is a tense angry situation, I will walk away and take a cool down break. This is a good practice to get into. Especially in relationships where arguments will happen. If you feel yourself getting emotional, take a break and walk away before your emotional response causes more harm than good. Tell the other person that you need to walk away for a few minutes to clear the emotions and go to a quiet place for yourself. Then take stock of your feelings and what caused them. Once you understand your feelings, try to put yourself into the shoes of the other person and see the situation from their eyes. This will make it easier to keep your emotions from taking control when you go back to finish the discussion.

Another great way to know when to walk away is to have guidelines set before you make any big decisions. In the example of buying a car, know exactly what you can afford, what features you need, what you can live without, and what you want. Know which vehicles you want beforehand and go in with your guidelines in place. Set the tone during the discussion with the salesperson and don’t let them deviate from your guidelines. They want your business, it is up to you to hold your emotions at bay in order to know when to walk away.

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Why do New Year’s Resolutions have such a high failure rate? Everyone sets goals and resolutions at the beginning of the year to lose weight, save money, go on more trips, or any number of promises. We act as if the start of a new year is the start f a new you. It’s like a new blank slate where we are starting fresh and forgetting the failures of the past. Because we fail so often at these resolutions or goals, we often treat them like they aren’t really that important; creating a false finish line.

One of the leading causes of us creating false finish lines is that we constantly set goals based on a yearly calendar and don’t hold ourselves accountable. Instead of just setting a date to lose weight by “x” date, try setting goals that improve your health week to week, month to month. Have a goal to lose weight but set goals and actions that you follow through with that will help you in your effort. I used to say I want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year. Now I say I want to lose weight by the end of the year, but I am starting this week by cutting out Fast food breakfast and having a salad, an apple, and water. The next week, I continue the salads, but add on 30 minutes of walking during lunch. The next week I continue that but add some simple stretches when I wake up. A goal with no follow through is a lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel good. A goal with follow through is a success story waiting to happen.

Another problem with setting goals is that we tend to have a start/stop mentality. We start a race and once we reach the finish line we call the race over and make no more forward progress. Just like in the above examples, we should be continually challenging ourselves to become better. Don’t set a finish line to better yourself, and then go back to the old habits after you reach your goal. Continue to push yourself, to challenge yourself so you can reach greater heights.