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The movie 8 Mile resonates with many people. Many of us can relate to the feeling that we won’t achieve our goals and it is time to give up. Jimmy Smith (Eminem) said “You ever wonder at what point you gotta say F*** it. You gotta stop livin up here and start livin down here?” It’s the moment he starts giving up on his dreams and accepts that he will always be broke and nothing.

We, however, ascribe to a different perspective. If you flip the script, his words truly become motivational. “At what point do you gotta stop living down here and start living up here? Personal development has shown me that you get out what you put in. Your efforts and mindset will determine your outcome. It is way too easy to just give up. That is why so many people do it. They end up settling for what they have and think they can never get any better. They outlook turns negative or worse, complacent.

In the past we have discussed how stagnation is death. This is key in helping you focus on finding goals that force you to grow. Part of our message in in changing how you think. Stop using the same thinking that keeps you where you are. Try new things. If you fail, you have actually succeeded in finding one way not to do something. Look for a new way. The road to life is not easy and doesn’t always lead on a straight path. Events pop up that change your course. However, your goals should still be something you strive for. So, what. Your first plan fell through. Rather than giving up and “living down here,” look for a way to get back on track or a different route that will take you to the same destination.

Change is not easy. Sometimes roadblocks pop up and slow your progress or stop you in your tracks. One of the greatest proverbs my parents taught me as a kid was, Its not how  may times you fall, its how many times you get back on the bike to ride that matters. Giving up ensures you will never reach your goals. So rather than living down here, find a way to change your thought process and live up here instead.

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For many, creating your personal foundation for success as a leader or sales professional can be intimidating, and unfamiliar. In this episode, we welcome Zachary Ketner, Global Strategic Sales Director at Intermedia. He will walk us through the steps he took to build his own foundation as a sales professional, leader, and a positive role model for his family.

His LinkedIn article that he wrote on the topic of Creating Your Foudnation For Success can be found here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/creating-your-foundation-success-zachary-ketner/

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We have discussed in the past how words have power. How we use our words can determine the outcome of many situations. This is especially true in the influence we have on our own decisions and the feelings and opinions of others around us.

A perfect example of this is in how children are raised. Children who witness abusive parents are more likely to grow up to be abusive themselves. They are surrounded by abuse and the actions and mental feeling becomes a norm that is accepted. The abusive parent in most cases doesn’t care that their actions will influence their children in negative ways down the road. They usually can’t see past themselves anyway.

Another example is something simpler and less damaging. We all talk about movies that we love or hate. We come out of the theater after watching a movie and we want to go tell our friends. When we get with our friends, our first inclination is to say how we feel about the movie we saw. This can cause the other person to shift their views on the movie to align more with ours. This is especially true, if they are close friends. They often don’t want to feel that we are offended if they disagree with our opinion so they parse their words differently than they would normally if they were alone. We have just unconsciously influenced their choice and response.

What we need to do is recognize those times where we are being the influencer and being influenced. If we are able to recognize those times, we can take steps to counter the influence. It is easier when we are with trusted friends and family who will love us even if we disagree or have different views, but it isn’t always that easy. Being honest without influencing is impossible. In the case of the movie discussion, when you are asked your opinion of the movie, your opinion will be an influence on others around you. You won’t always be able to prevent your unconscious influence. In the case of the children of abusive parents where external factors are the real influencer, being surrounded by positive influences can be the best counter. In any situation, you want to surround yourself with positive growth-oriented people and activities. Removing the negative influences or lessening their effects while increasing the positive influences will improve your mood, and even your health.

The problem with unconscious influences is that they are unconscious. The first step is always to recognize them. Look for the “why” in everything you do. “Why am I doing x, or saying y?” What has influenced my decisions? Understanding why will help you recognize what influences your decisions and will help you make better decisions about your own life. It will also help you be a better influence on others around you.

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“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”- Jim Rohn

There are 2 types of pains that we all go through; the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Most of us have had to go through some harsh discipline in our lives. Parents correcting their children, teachers challenging their students, having to say no to things we love, etc. The one pain that we always seem to forget is the pain of regret.

The pain of regret has been with us throughout our entire lives. While we were young we took actions that caused us to regret them…usually due to the discipline or consequences that came afterwards. As we get older our focus on regret shifts. No longer are we regretting what we have done. We begin to regret the things we haven’t done.

Every single person out there has something they really want to do, but it always gets pushed off to “later.” Maybe things in life come up that take our focus away from our goals or desires, or maybe it is fear that causes us to hesitate when those things come up.

My mom came up to me last year and asked me to go with her to visit her brother-my uncle. I had never met my uncle and am not really a people person. My mom went with my sister and met with her brother without me. Fast forward to this year during the first two weeks of the COVID-19 quarantine in Washington State. We got a call from my aunt letting us know that my mom’s brother had passed away. It was at that time that I started to really understand the power of the pain we go through when we miss opportunities. I regretted not taking that time to meat my uncle and making that connection. That connection could have made my relationship with my mother stronger and given a profound memory that I could have shared and held onto. Now it is too late. I missed that boat.

We all are presented with opportunities every day. Some small, others larger. The thing to do is to try to take as many opportunities that we can so that we live a life without regrets. If personal, financial, or work things get in the way of your plans or opportunities, take actions that will help you better prepare for those opportunities the next time they come up.

Get started with a savings plan so your financials are not the thing that hold you back. Make sure you complete your work projects in a timely manner so that you don’t have those last-minute fixes preventing you from taking time off when you need it. Make sure you communicate with those you have relationships with. Communication will help you plan around your everyday life. Don’t suffer the pain of regret because you failed to act. It is more painful than the inconvenience that we face when you do take the action.

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Procrastination is the only thing that will prevent you from reaching your goals. Procrastination is that little voice telling you that “it can wait. I got time.” It is that thing you do that puts off truly important efforts for things that are more pleasurable or comfortable.

If we truly want to be successful, we will do our best to take all the steps we need to take in order to reach our goals. Goals are sometimes difficult and a real challenge to complete. There will always be something that is competing for our time. Life is exciting that way. We will always find things that are more pleasurable or more comfortable to do than work on our future selves.

We should all have an ideal vision of our future selves. Use that as a goal post. Compare that to yourself as you are today and look for the things you need to change in your own life to make your ideal vision a reality. You have just set a goal and have an idea of the steps you need to take to get there. Procrastination is what steps in in the form of your inner voice that says I can do this later, or I have a million more important things to do. Usually we just end up-as Kyle says-sitting on the couch watching TV and eating a bag of potato chips.

The most important thing to understand is that the world is not preventing you from reaching your goals. The dishes aren’t preventing your from reaching your goals. Even the television is not responsible for you not reaching your goals. You are in direct competition with yourself for your own future outcome. The effort you put in today will determine what you have tomorrow. Do not let the story of your life say you had a goal but something always came up and prevented you from reaching it.

You can compare yourself to other people, but that is not an accurate way to grow yourself. Emulate the characteristics of successful people, sure. However, it is better for your own growth to compare yourself to you. Look at where you are at the time you set your goals. Write down your hopes and fears. Make your goal a reality by committing in writing to yourself. As your work towards your goal, understand that things will pop up and you will tell yourself that they are more important or that you will have time later. The problem is you pile up enough “tomorrows” you will look back one day on a whole lot of empty yesterdays.

Start with your journal. Then do some health checks daily to mark your progress. Know where you want to be, set goal posts that are set in stone and work towards them. Don’t let your lazy self prevent your successful self from reaching the ideal you.