125: How To Take Control Of Your Expectations
Expectations can be very misleading and it can cause a shit ton of problems if not handled correctly. We all know it, we all do it, we all have certain expectations of something or someone that we have set by ourselves and get pissed when it’s not met. It could be as simple as meeting someone for coffee or time or as big as an unspoken expectation of not cheating on your spouse. It starts with ourselves which is what Kyle and Rohit will dig deep into today’s episode.
Definition of expectation is “a belief that someone will or should achieve something”. There are 3 keywords in there that lead us to disappointment – Belief, Will, and Should. All 3 words leading to what we expect from others without sharing what we actually want. In reality, we are the ones who set a baseline for an expectation. We are the ones who set a baseline for a certain belief and then get mad or disappointed when that belief isn’t met. Why? Why do we this? Here’s a question – Have you ever told the other person of your expectation? Why do we assume that the other person is a mind reader and will know what you want?
Kyle and Rohit explored if we don’t set our expectations with others then we are setting ourselves up for failure and others for disappointment. Expectations have been shown and shifted based on what I have provided and what I feel and you have to modify them to achieve your goal or your expectation. So what can we do get your SHIT together? Really, there are only 2 things. One, you can keep continuing to do what you do now; not be clear on your expectations and be annoyed when it isn’t met OR Two, shift your expectations. As mentioned, expectations are a set of baseline created by ourselves and society has taught us to associate expectation with negativity, but it doesn’t have to be! People are trying to make a difference for themselves or their loved ones and need to shift their mindsets. However, to truly realize what your expectations are from certain people in your mind, you have to regularly do the Circle of Influence exercise. If you have paid attention to any of our past episodes, you know how HUGE Circle of Influence can be on your life and that we should routinely do this exercise to make certain we are aligning the right people in our lives. It’s essentially a virtual review of the baseline that YOU have set up. Review what you want from life and from the people you know; shift those priorities and you will see some drastic positive results that you had never thought of before.