188: I Should Be Further Along In Life?
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There are many kinds of fear in life. Fear of failure, fear of things, fear of death, etc. However, there is a fear that many of us don’t even realize we may be experiencing. We experience it and sometimes allow it to hold us back. When we look at our lives and say to ourselves, “I should be further along than I am right now,” it builds up an anxiety that sometimes shuts down our drive.
We all have expectations for our lives. Maybe it is our income level, our health, our relationships, or any other number of meaningful parts of who we are. Sometimes we look at our lives and say, “I should have more money.” To many people in financial hardship, looking at where they are and comparing it to where they want to be can be very damaging. Why? We are afraid to see that we made poor choices. Some people will see the gap between their expectation and where they are and only see the gap. They start to say “can’t” or “it’s too hard.” Very quickly they start to hold off on making corrective actions that will get them to their goal.
Part of what we should do is realize that expectations are set by our own comparisons. We are comparing our current situation to what we envision for ourselves. Our expectations are only as accurate as the effort we put into them. Our vision of ourselves is only as clear as our understanding of ourselves. If we go into this with a clear understanding of how our expectations are set, we will be able to make better choices that will help us meet our expectations.
Understand, everyone will feel that they should be further along in life at some point. How we react to that feeling determines our character. Do we give up and let our defeatism creep in? Or do we approach it from a clear understanding of how we need to change to get to where we view ourselves in success? In my case, I wasn’t happy with my finances. I should have been further along in my financial goals. My current job wasn’t cutting it, and my expenses can only be cut so much. I could have given up and just accepted that I would work for someone else my entire life and die on the job, but I didn’t. I started looking for more ways to bring in more income so that I could be proud of myself and my progress. I saw that I was looking at things from a stance of lack rather than a stance of development. I only saw what I didn’t have versus what I could be obtaining. What I changed was how I viewed things. How do I get more, versus how do I spend less. My view changed from a limited perspective of how to cut the output I had and shifted to a perspective of how I could bring more in to make my life better.
It is important to analyze your life and see if you are where you want to be. If you aren’t, don’t let defeat settle in. Stand tall, recognize you got yourself to where you are and only you changing yourself is going to get you to where you envision yourself. It is a tough way to look at life, particularly your own. However, it is those hard glances we take into where we are and where we want to be that will help us make better choices or remove obstacles that prevent us from reaching the finish line and feel happy about the road we just travelled.
