169: Feeling Helpless
SHOW DESCRIPTION
Everyone feels helpless at some point in their life. Maybe you face a situation that you feel is beyond your control. Maybe you see a friend going through a tough time and you want to help them out. However, you may not know how to help, and you don’t want to make things worse. The feeling of helplessness can build and even end up affecting your health.
Communication is key to breaking the feeling of helplessness. My sister went through a tough medical time not long ago where her life would be impacted forever. I didn’t know how to help her and saw her suffering daily. She really didn’t know how to share what she was going through either. We never were good at communicating with each other growing up. Finally, I decided to start the conversation. I asked her about how she was holding up. The discussion led to how I wanted to help but felt helpless. Our discussion went for hours as we broke down walls that we had been building ourselves. The walls were there to shield us from our own insecurities and others from the pain we were carrying. In the end, we both felt better, grew closer as brother and sister, and our communication strengthened. We understand each other on a deeper level and know where to push, resist, and wait.
There are personal times when each of us feels helpless against the issues we face. Financial problems crop up and you don’t know where to go for help or how to fix the problem. Rather than seek that help, many of us bury our heads in the sand and wait for the problem to “fix itself.” The problem with that approach is that it doesn’t always fix itself. In many cases, it just gets worse. Communication could fix the problem, but we feel too embarrassed to reach out for the help we know, deep down, would be offered if we just asked. We feel ashamed of our problems in many cases because we know we made bad decisions. We can’t possibly let our closest relations see that we are human and make mistakes. The fear of being seen as a flawed person who can’t face his problems alone is sometimes a very real and strong fear that we carry. It is not healthy to carry that fear. Those who love us will accept us, flaws and all. They will be there to love and support us if they truly love us. Don’t let helplessness hold you back and drag you down. Reach out for support when you don’t know where to go. Let go of problems you can’t control. Understand the difference between the two and you will have an easier time growing through the problem every time.
