091: Suicide - Why YOU Matter

by Amit Bhardwaj, Kyle Reed, Michael Johnson, Rohit Rohila, Ruben Marquez


Do you know anyone (not you) who has considered suicide?


Have you ever considered suicide?


Do you know someone (not you) who has attempted suicide or has taken their own life by suicide?


Have you ever attempted to commit suicide?


Suicide! Quick… what thoughts come to your mind? What feelings develop deep in your heart? Has anyone you have known thought of suicide? Or maybe attempted or even taken their own life? Take a look at the shocking numbers above and you will see that the vast majority of us have been affected by suicide.

While coming back from a party, Rohit was having a conversation with a friend. When Rohit asked what was the moment that turned their life around into a positive life of success, they said it was when they had a gun in their mouth, and their own hand on the trigger. Then only a few hours later, a friend who Rohit hadn’t heard from in 7 years, sent him a text, saying that they weren’t in a good mindset and were struggling, and needed some positivity.

Rohit reached out to Kyle, and that is how this episode started coming together. Realizing that we need to do something to help anyone who is hurting, we got to work in securing not only all of the resources to present this, but also a guest who has been in that dark place, and can only share his experiences with the audience.

This was a very emotional episode and not a dry eye was left for everyone who was in the studio recording with us.

It started off with a special guest, retired military Major Michael Johnson. Michael shared his story of the time that Rohit randomly reached out to him, when he was at his lowest. Just barely hanging on, Michael used a fishing bobber as a metaphor for his life. He went onto discuss the 3 things that are essential to getting back on track with your life:

  1. Community
  2. Family
  3. Service

Our own Kyle Reed shared his story of a close friend who ended his life. Consumed by the guilt of “what could I have done,” it was 6 years before Kyle could even go to his friend’s grave.

For the first time, Amit Bhardwaj told us about his own journey of suicidal thoughts and attempt, a story that only a few of his “pillars” knew about.

Finally, Ruben Marquez, a certified suicide prevention specialist, shared the importance of noticing behavioral changes in people as a possible sign.

We take great pride and honor our responsibility with this topic. If you have been affected in any way, please leave a comment and share your experiences.

Podcast episodes we mentioned in this podcast:

Quotes from GYST fans in this episode:

For those who had thoughts of suicide, please know that there is someone out there who will be affected by your actions. Please seek for help from a love one or someone who you confide in, don’t live in the shadow without letting someone know what’s going on. You can get help. Please save your life, you have so much to live for then giving up your life. You may think no one will miss you but there’s always going to be people who will miss you when you’re gone.

There is always someone in your life willing to be there for you. You may or may not realize who that person is, but reach out to someone and tell them you’re having a hard time and need to talk. Most people are caring, compassionate people who will do what they can to help you.

If you are battling depression and suicidal thoughts, it’s not just something you can “snap out of”. It can happen when you are in a room full of people who love you, on the most gorgeous sunny day. The thoughts can just come out of nowhere, and they can be debilitating. My biggest fear was just becoming paralyzed or brain dead. I wanted to die, not just be a burden. It was incredibly hard for me to find someone who understood. Music is what ended up saving my life. At the darkest time of my life, music was my only friend. Seeing those musicians that meant so much to me taking their own lives has been the hardest thing I’ve gone through this year. You are loved. You are worthy of living. You are not alone. Just a none judgmental ear can mean so much.

A friend committed suicide with a drug cocktail. I work at a high school for a kid tried to hang him spend this year and wasn’t successful. Last year, a student was successful. Both myself and my significant other have considered at least once. While selling insurance, the only Life Insurance claim I ever paid out was for a suicide. Dad killed himself the same way and in the same location that the mother did 10 years earlier.

Anyone pondering suicide – absolutely let others people know where your thoughts are at! Don’t let the “OMG you’re just looking for sympathy/attention” trap dissuade you from coming forward about your feelings. It is indeed a form of self-defense against ending your life, so PLEASE YELL OUT FOR HELP!

Suicide is never the way out. I have severe bi polar disorder, I’ve seen the darkest of the dark, the very bottom of the hole, there’s ALWAYS someone out there willing to listen. It’s not always easy to accept, but they’re there.

My son was depressed and had thoughts of suicide. I took him to counseling, therapist, put him on meds, but he eventually refused. He was 18 so unfortunately, I could not legally force him nor would his counselors talk to me. He dropped out of school his senior year with 1 semester left. His emotions are up and down, he still hates life but says to me he would never kill himself. It’s the hardest thing as a parent to watch your “adult ” child go thru. Parents, Notice the signs early… emotional, crying, sleeping all day, doesn’t want to do anything, celebrate their own birthdays, etc. Before it’s too late and you have no control over their mental health. I get scared everyday coming home from work in fear that he has taken his life…??

You are not alone. The world may seem like a dark and lonely place, with everything arrayed against you. No matter how bad it seems, there is someone somewhere who loves you and will be hurt by your passing. And there are people out there who can help. You don’t have to suffer in silence and you don’t have to be ashamed.

My grandfather committed suicide, to get out of pain and to stop being a burden to his family. He had terminal cancer, so we understood but the devastation didn’t go away for those that remain

Resources we mentioned in this episode:

  • To get Help: Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Call a local mental health center
  • Call 911 or local emergency number
  • Reach out to close friends or loved ones for assistance
  • Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community

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